11th division's problems
by moonlight peach forest
Summary: The 11th division specialize in combat. What will happen when they have to deal with a trivial matter? oneshot.


Athor's note; Here's an one-shot about the famous 11th division.

I don't own Bleach. Higasiwama Daiki is a fictional character whose absence is available for the story.

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11th division's problems.

The 11th division was quiet. One of the most unusual things in Seireitei. In the place where you usually heard swords clanging, screams of joy and pain or comments of drunken people now you could hear only your breath.

In the captain's office the 3rd and 5th officers were standing in front of Zaraki's desk. He pulled them a paper to read silently and moved his back to them. When they finished reading their eyes wided in shock.

"Masaka!?" whispered Ikkaku.

"It can't be! When did this happen Taichou?" asked Yumichika sweating. The fearsome man turned to face him and replied.

"I don't know. The matter is that it happened and we have to deal with it."

"I still can't believe it! How could Higasiwama Daiki leave in a mission when he knows that he's the ONLY person who can cook in our division?" almost screamed Ikkaku putting his hands in his head.

"OMG! If I don't eat from the seven food groups who knows what will happen to my metabolism." cried out Yumichika.

"Well we can possibly ask Yachiru to cook." suggested Zaraki.

"Eh! Taichou I really respect Kusajishi fuku-taichou but I don't trust her as a cooker, except if you want to pass the rest week eating cakes and chocolate cookies.

All of them shivered at the thought. Indeed being the child she was Kusajishi Yachiru was capable to survive eating only candies and similar staff.

"I know a solution." finally stated Zaraki. His subordinates looked at him with hope.

"We will order from Seireitei's restaurants."

"Eh! Taichou are you sure? Do you remember the last time you wanted to order pizza?"

Flashback

"_Ok guys tonight we'll have pizza."_

"_Yahoo! Pizza."_

"_Fuku-taichou stop running around."_

"_Shut up Baldy."_

"_Don't call me baldy!"_

"_Silence you two. I want to hear the guy who takes the orders… Okay we deal the number and we wait."_

"_Hello, you phoned the Phantom Pizza may I take your order?"_

"_Yes, for the begging I want an extra large pizza with peppers."_

"_Excuse me but we don't have such a thing."_

"_What? Then how many pieces have the biggest pizza you have?"_

"_Seven."_

"_WHAT? ONLY seven? How do you except someone to cloy with only seven pieces?"_

"_Ken-chan relax. You can take two pizzas for yourself if you want."_

"_Right. Then I'll take two pizzas with peppers, one with cheese and two with pepperoni and tomatoes."_

"_O…Ok which is your address sir?"_

"_Address? Err brought them to the 11__th__ division."_

"…" _tutu tutu._

"…_Hello? He hanged up? He hanged up to me?"_

_End of flashback._

"They are really afraid of you." said Ikkaku.

"You know maybe we should try to cook on our owns." suggested Yumichika.

"Hey I haven't thought of that. It's a good idea. Okay let's go find where the kitchen is."

"Don't you know where the kitchen is Taichou?" asked Ikkaku confused.

"No. Never been there before."

"Now that you mention it I haven't been there before either." said Yumichika with a skeptical look in his face.

"Me neither." admitted Ikkaku.

Silence filled the room again upon this new discovery.

"Well it's not like it doesn't exist. If we search for it we'll find it."

One hour later they were facing a big white wall. In fact they were out of the 11th division's grounds.

"Taichou we should better return back to our division." suggested Ikkaku hoping that he wouldn't insult his superior.

"What do you mean? Are we lost or anything?" asked Zaraki surprised.

"Yes Taichou."

Zaraki put his finger in his face and started thinking. After a while he told his subordinates.

"We have to find the architectonic ground plan of our squad. Then we will know where that damn kitchen is."

"That's right! Why we didn't think of that earlier?"

"Yosh lead me to the library."

"Yes sir."

After they did research in the documents and spotted where the specific room was, they managed to step in.

"Whoa! What a beautiful room." Exclaimed Yumichika amazed by the clean, spotless room. Ikkaku found a book with recipes and started reading.

"Let's make some pasta. They are easy to be done." He finally said.

"Okay, you two deal with it, I'll make the salad." Said their captain and put various vegetables in the table. He placed in front of him some tomatoes and then unsheathed his sword. He put it down with force; he cut the tomatoes, some other vegetables and the table along with them.

At the same time Ikkaku and Yumichika were trying to make a sauce for the pasta. They had set all the spicy foods they found in the fridge and the cupboards. Onions, red peppers, chilly, ketchup and mustard were mixed in one kettle. For some reason they started arguing and they forget both pastas and sauce. Zaraki was busy trying to fix the table so he didn't notice anything.

Minutes passed and Yachiru entered in the kitchen. What she saw surprised her. Her Ken-chan was pissed off and he was dissecting the remains of a table. Yumichika and Ikkaku were quarreling next to two kettles on fire. Calmly she took a bucket, filed it with water and poured it them. Then she told them.

"What are you doing on here? Don't you know it's lunchtime?"

"We know that fuku-taichou we were trying to cook." replied Yumichika.

"Really? Well there's no such need because I have already order ramen for all of us."

They looked at her completely speechless and she smiled.

"Of course I wouldn't let Ken-chan starve!"

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Thanks for reading. :)


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